HEADACHE

Deus, in adjutorium meum intende. Domine, ad adjuvandum me festina.
O God, come to my assistance. O Lord, make haste to help me.

So, our little book from the 1800s has been found to contain many helpful hints for ladies. Let us today find out the causes and cures for the ever annoying Headache, according to nineteenth century "experts."
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   One of our English contemporaries has wisely been devoting some thought and space to the common and distressing fact that a great many English women suffer from headache. The same trouble prevails in America, and men, no matter how selfish they may be, are deeply concerned about it, for a wife with a headache cannot be companionable; the best of sweethearts with a headache is sure to be unreasonable, while a lady who has neither husband or other special cavalier to engross her attention can ruin the peace of mind of every one she meets while she has a headache of perceptible size. No amount of masculine grumbling is likely to change all this, but women themselves might change it if they would comprehend the causes of the malady and then apply their nimble wits to the work of prevention or cure.

   The trouble is that all American women who have headaches live indoors, where the best air is never good and the worst is poison, and they have none of the exercise which saves man from the popular feminine malady. Were a strong man to eat breakfast at any ordinary American table, and then sit down at a work-table or even move about briskly from one room to another, he would have a splitting headache before noon, and the chatter of his innocent children would seem to be a jargon of fiends. The midday meal would increase his wretchedness, and by dusk he would be stretched in misery upon his bed, with one hand moping (sic) his forehead with ice-water, while the other would threaten with a club or pistol any one who dared to enter the room or make a noise outside. There is no reason why women should not suffer just as severely for similar transgressions of physical law. True, indoor life is compulsory for a large portion every day, but special physical exercise in a well-aired room is within the reach of almost every woman, and so is a brisk walk in garments not so tight as to prevent free respiration. There is very little complaint at summer resorts, where windows are always open and games and excursions continually tempt women who do not value complexion more than health. Girls who ride, row, sail, and shoot, seldom have headaches; neither fo those unfortunate enough to be compelled to hoe potatoes or play Maud Muller (?) in hay-fields. Let women of all social grades remember that the human machine must have reasonable treatment, and be kept at work or play, to keep it from rusting, then headaches will be rare enough to be interesting.
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   So get out there ladies. Row those canoes. Hoe those potatoes. At least open a window. You owe it to husbands, boyfriends, other companions, yes - all of humanity - to be an agreeable member of the feminine sex.

11/22/13