"The law is a ass"

Deus in adjutorium meum intende. Domine ad adjuvandum me festina.
O God, come to my assistance. O Lord, make haste to help me.

O.K. Time for some silliness for the blog.  I've got a lot to do outside today. The weather is mild, in the 70s and perfect for fixin' and settin' up and weedin' and sech!

Years ago, Dear Abby had a column featuring REAL, lawyer gaffes. They were taken from official U.S. court records. These are questions by lawyers put to people on the witness stand and some answers.
Unbelievable!  They obviously graduated from Law School! Scary!  I save a lot of ephemera - for what reason I don't know, except that "Maybe I'll find a use for this some time." No wonder I have overflowing notebooks, file cabinets and boxes of "stuff."



Question: Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

Question: What happend then?
Answer: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Question: Did he kill you?

Question: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Question: Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

Question: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Question: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
Answer: By death.
Question: And by whose death was it terminated?

Question: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
Answer: I'll be three months on Nov. 8.
Question: Apparently, then, the date of conception was Aug. 8?
Answer: Yes.
Question: What were you doing at that time?

Question: She had three children, right?
Answer: Yes.
Question: How many were boys?
Answer: None
Question: Were there girls?

Question: Were you alone or by yourself ?

Question: So you were gone until you returned?

Question: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

Question: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
Answer: That's me.
Question: Were you present when that picture was taken?


Question: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
Answer: Yes.
Question: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Question: Have you lived in this town all your life?
Answer: Not yet.


I rest my case.